Fleishr

My cat memes herself. Cat In A Sink.

Tue, 08 May 2012 19:30:32 -0400

My cat memes herself.

Cat In A Sink.

Photo

Tue, 17 Apr 2012 17:41:39 -0400

Things I can’t live without.

Sun, 08 Apr 2012 10:16:38 -0400

Things I can’t live without.

Worse than getting a mortgage

Tue, 27 Mar 2012 14:37:00 -0400

Someone help.

Part of the education budget bill for New York State for 2012-13:

THE GAP ELIMINATION ADJUSTMENT RESTORATION AMOUNT FOR THE TWO THOUSAND TWELVE—TWO THOUSAND THIRTEEN SCHOOL YEAR FOR A SCHOOL DISTRICT SHALL BE COMPUTED BASED ON DATA ON FILE WITH THE COMMISSIONER AND IN THE DATABASE USED BY THE COMMISSIONER TO PRODUCE AN UPDATED ELECTRONIC DATA FILE IN SUPPORT OF THE ENACTED BUDGET FOR THE TWO THOUSAND TWELVE—TWO THOUSAND THIRTEEN STATE FISCAL YEAR, AND SHALL EQUAL THE SUM OF (I) THE GREATER OF:

(A) THE PRODUCT OF (1) THE PRODUCT OF THE EXTRAORDINARY NEEDS INDEX MULTIPLIED BY TWO HUNDRED TWENTY-THREE DOLLARS AND EIGHTY CENTS, COMPUTED TO TWO DECIMAL PLACES WITHOUT ROUNDING, MULTIPLIED BY (2) THE STATE SHARING RATIO COMPUTED PURSUANT TO PARAGRAPH G OF SUBDIVISION THREE OF THIS SECTION MULTIPLIED BY (3) THE PUBLIC SCHOOL DISTRICT ENROLLMENT FOR THE BASE YEAR, CALCULATED PURSUANT TO SUBPARAGRAPH TWO OF PARAGRAPH N OF SUBDIVISION ONE OF THIS SECTION, WHERE THE EXTRAORDINARY NEEDS INDEX SHALL BE THE QUOTIENT OF THE EXTRAORDINARY NEEDS PERCENT FOR THE DISTRICT COMPUTED PURSUANT TO PARAGRAPH W OF SUBDIVISION ONE OF THIS SECTION DIVIDED BY FORTY-EIGHT HUNDREDTHS; OR

(B) FOR ANY DISTRICT WITH A GEA/TGFE RATIO GREATER THAN ONE, WHERE THE GEA/TGFE RATIO SHALL BE THE QUOTIENT OF THE GAP ELIMINATION ADJUSTMENT FOR THE TWO THOUSAND ELEVEN—TWO THOUSAND TWELVE SCHOOL YEAR FOR THE DISTRICT DIVIDED BY THE TOTAL GENERAL FUND EXPENDITURES OF SUCH DISTRICT IN THE BASE YEAR, DIVIDED BY THE QUOTIENT OF THE STATEWIDE TOTAL GAP ELIMINATION ADJUSTMENT FOR THE TWO THOUSAND ELEVEN—TWO THOUSAND TWELVE SCHOOL YEAR DIVIDED BY TOTAL GENERAL FUND EXPENDITURES IN THE BASE YEAR, THE PRODUCT OF (1) THE PRODUCT OF THE GEA/TGFE RATIO MULTIPLIED BY NINETY DOLLARS, COMPUTED TO TWO DECIMAL PLACES WITHOUT ROUNDING, MULTIPLIED BY (2) THE STATE SHARING RATIO COMPUTED PURSUANT TO PARAGRAPH G OF SUBDIVISION THREE OF THIS SECTION MULTIPLIED BY (3) THE PUBLIC SCHOOL DISTRICT ENROLLMENT FOR THE BASE YEAR, CALCULATED PURSUANT TO SUBPARAGRAPH TWO OF PARAGRAPH N OF SUBDIVISION ONE OF THIS SECTION; OR

(C) THE PRODUCT OF TWO AND NINE HUNDRED FIFTY-SIX ONE-THOUSANDTHS OF A PERCENT (0.02956) MULTIPLIED BY THE GAP ELIMINATION ADJUSTMENT FOR THE TWO THOUSAND ELEVEN—TWO THOUSAND TWELVE SCHOOL YEAR; OR

(D) THE PRODUCT OF (1) THE POSITIVE DIFFERENCE, IF ANY, OF ONE AND THIRTY-SEVEN ONE-HUNDREDTHS (1.37) MINUS THE PRODUCT OF THE COMBINED WEALTH RATIO COMPUTED PURSUANT TO SUBPARAGRAPH ONE OF PARAGRAPH C OF SUBDIVISION THREE OF THIS SECTION MULTIPLIED BY ONE AND ONE-HALF (1.5), BUT NOT MORE THAN ONE, MULTIPLIED BY (2) THE PUBLIC SCHOOL DISTRICT ENROLLMENT FOR THE BASE YEAR, CALCULATED PURSUANT TO SUBPARAGRAPH TWO OF PARAGRAPH N OF SUBDIVISION ONE OF THIS SECTION, MULTIPLIED BY (3) FOUR HUNDRED SEVENTY-THREE DOLLARS AND SEVENTY CENTS; OR

(E) FOR ANY DISTRICT WITH A TAX EFFORT RATIO COMPUTED PURSUANT TO SUBPARAGRAPH THREE OF PARAGRAPH A OF SUBDIVISION SIXTEEN OF THIS SECTION THAT IS GREATER THAN FOUR AND FOUR-TENTHS (4.4) AND A COMBINED WEALTH RATIO COMPUTED PURSUANT TO SUBPARAGRAPH ONE OF PARAGRAPH C OF SUBDIVISION THREE OF THIS SECTION THAT IS LESS THAN ONE AND ONE-HALF (1.5), THE PRODUCT OF (1) THE STATE SHARING RATIO COMPUTED PURSUANT TO PARAGRAPH G OF SUBDIVISION THREE OF THIS SECTION MULTIPLIED BY (2) THE PUBLIC SCHOOL DISTRICT ENROLLMENT FOR THE BASE YEAR, CALCULATED PURSUANT TO SUBPARAGRAPH TWO OF PARAGRAPH N OF SUBDIVISION ONE OF THIS SECTION, MULTIPLIED BY (3) THREE HUNDRED NINE DOLLARS AND THIRTY CENTS;

BUT SHALL BE NO GREATER THAN THE PRODUCT OF TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT AND THE GAP ELIMINATION ADJUSTMENT FOR THE TWO THOUSAND ELEVEN—TWO THOUSAND TWELVE SCHOOL YEAR FOR THE DISTRICT, AND (II) THE LIMITED ENGLISH PROFICIENCY RESTORATION WHICH SHALL BE APPORTIONED TO CITY SCHOOL DISTRICTS OF CITIES WITH A POPULATION IN EXCESS OF ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND AND LESS THAN ONE MILLION. FOR ANY SUCH CITY SCHOOL DISTRICT WITH A LIMITED ENGLISH PROFICIENCY RATIO GREATER THAN OR EQUAL TO FOUR PERCENT AND LESS THAN FIVE PERCENT, THE LIMITED ENGLISH PROFICIENCY RESTORATION SHALL EQUAL THE PRODUCT OF THE LIMITED ENGLISH PROFICIENCY RESTORATION BASE MULTIPLIED BY SEVEN TENTHS. FOR ANY SUCH CITY SCHOOL DISTRICT WITH A LIMITED ENGLISH PROFICIENCY RATIO GREATER THAN OR EQUAL TO FIVE PERCENT, THE LIMITED ENGLISH PROFICIENCY RESTORATION SHALL EQUAL THE PRODUCT OF THE LIMITED ENGLISH PROFICIENCY RESTORATION BASE MULTIPLIED BY TWO AND TWO TENTHS. FOR ANY SUCH CITY SCHOOL DISTRICT WITH A LIMITED ENGLISH PROFICIENCY RATIO LESS THAN FOUR PERCENT, THE LIMITED ENGLISH PROFICIENCY RESTORATION SHALL EQUAL THE PRODUCT OF THE LIMITED ENGLISH PROFICIENCY RESTORATION BASE MULTIPLIED BY ONE AND SEVENTY-FIVE HUNDREDTHS.

(A) FOR THE PURPOSES OF COMPUTATIONS PURSUANT TO THIS SUBPARAGRAPH (1) “LIMITED ENGLISH PROFICIENCY RATIO” SHALL MEAN THE QUOTIENT OF (A) THE PRODUCT OF THE LIMITED ENGLISH PROFICIENCY COUNT COMPUTED PURSUANT TO PARAGRAPH O OF SUBDIVISION ONE OF THIS SECTION MULTIPLIED BY FIFTY PERCENT, DIVIDED BY (B) PUBLIC SCHOOL DISTRICT ENROLLMENT FOR THE BASE YEAR COMPUTED PURSUANT TO SUBPARAGRAPH TWO OF PARAGRAPH N OF SUBDIVISION ONE OF THIS SECTION; (2) “LIMITED ENGLISH PROFICIENCY RESTORATION BASE” SHALL MEAN THE PRODUCT OF THE AMOUNT SET FORTH FOR SUCH SCHOOL DISTRICT AS “TOTAL” UNDER THE HEADING “2011-12 BASE YEAR AIDS” IN THE SCHOOL AID COMPUTER LISTING PRODUCED BY THE COMMISSIONER IN SUPPORT OF THE ENACTED BUDGET FOR THE 2012-13 SCHOOL YEAR AND ENTITLED “SA121-3” MULTIPLIED BY ELEVEN HUNDREDTHS OF ONE PERCENT.

(E) THE GAP ELIMINATION ADJUSTMENT RESTORATION AMOUNT FOR THE TWO THOUSAND THIRTEEN—TWO THOUSAND FOURTEEN SCHOOL YEAR AND THEREAFTER SHALL EQUAL THE PRODUCT OF THE GAP ELIMINATION PERCENTAGE FOR SUCH DISTRICT AND THE GAP ELIMINATION ADJUSTMENT RESTORATION ALLOCATION ESTABLISHED PURSUANT TO SUBDIVISION EIGHTEEN OF THIS SECTION.

Photo

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 11:45:18 -0500

Lady Gaga, eat your heart out. Photo by Fleishr. Filtering by...

Sat, 28 Jan 2012 13:11:00 -0500

Lady Gaga, eat your heart out.

Photo by Fleishr. Filtering by Instagram.

Photo

Sat, 21 Jan 2012 11:17:18 -0500

Brother: Nevermind nbd

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 22:50:15 -0500

Brother: Nevermind nbd
Me: OKICYP
Brother: THAGTIA CMWYGB
Me: what does that mean?
Brother: Thanks Have A Great Time In Albany. Call me when you get back
Me: Could you read what mine said?
Brother: I thought it just said ok, I see you pee
Me: Haha yes
Brother: But u r inconsistent, u used a Y for You and a C for see
Me: LOL I KNOW I REALIZED THAT AFTER I SENT IT
Me: look now i'm like dad descending into all caps
Me: IWSYWIGB. TYCTMC. DW.
Brother: I will see you when I get back. Tomorrow you can take mom's car. Don't worry?
Brother: Was I close
Me: Omg you are amazing

Photo

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 13:52:04 -0500

Photo

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 20:56:29 -0500

Photo

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 18:42:33 -0400

Tails as kitten. Here was Gina.

Sat, 08 Oct 2011 16:22:00 -0400

Tails as kitten. Here was Gina.

Textbook Example

Wed, 28 Sep 2011 10:33:45 -0400

Me: David Vargas Lopez
David Horn: Quiero comprar cassettes de Gloria Estefan y Miami Sound Machine.
Me: ¡No busca!

Saw this after reading this weekend’s a-hed in WSJ’s...

Sat, 03 Sep 2011 22:12:00 -0400

Saw this after reading this weekend’s a-hed in WSJ’s about Greyfriar’s Bobby.

soupsoup:

Lisa Pembleton / Getty Images

Navy SEAL Jon Tumilson lay in a coffin, draped in an American flag, in front of a tearful audience mourning his death in Afghanistan. Soon an old friend appeared, and like a fellow soldier on a battlefield, his loyal dog refused to leave him behind. - Today.com contributor Scott Stump

Flooded and Closed Roads in New Jersey from Irene

Sat, 27 Aug 2011 23:25:00 -0400

As of right now — 11:24 p.m. NJST

Source: New Jersey State Police

Atlantic

US 30 Eastbound, West of US 9, (MM51.5), Absecon City, all lanes closed and detoured - Police department activity
US 322 Both Directions, West of CR 614/Cologne Av, (MM48.9), Hamilton Twp, 1 lane may be closed - Flooding
US 322 Westbound, Leipzig Av, (MM49.8), Hamilton Twp, all lanes closed and detoured - Flooding
US 40 Eastbound, CR 608/Franklin Av, (MM59.7), Pleasantville, all lanes closed and detoured - Operational Activity

Bergen

US 46 Both Directions, Little Ferry Circle, (MM70.0), Little Ferry, - Flooding

Burlington

US 206 Northbound, South of CR 622/Tuckerton Rd, (MM12.3), Shamong Twp, 1 lane may be closed - Flooding

Camden

US 30 Both Directions, CR 723/Fleming Pike, (MM26.6), Winslow Twp, all lanes closed and detoured - Flooding

Cape May

US 9 Both Directions, Garden State Parkway, (MM23.7), Upper Twp, all lanes closed and detoured - Downed tree

Cumberland

NJ 77 Both Directions, North of CR 659/Bridgeton Av/Rosehayn Av, (MM2.0), Bridgeton, 1 lane may be closed - Flooding

Essex

I-280 Eastbound, Exit 14E - King St, (MM13.8), Newark, exit ramp closed - Flooding
US 22 Eastbound, Weequahic Park, (MM58.5), Newark, 1 to 2 lanes closed - Flooding

Gloucester

NJ 45 Both Directions, Delaware St/Cooper Av, (MM25.9), Woodbury, all lanes closed and detoured - Fire department activity
NJ 47 Both Directions, North of US 40/Delsea Dr, (MM53.2), Franklin Twp, all lanes closed and detoured - Flooding
US 40 Both Directions, East of NJ 47/Delsea Dr, (MM27.6), Franklin Twp, all lanes closed and detoured - Flooding

Hudson

NJ 7 Both Directions, CR 507/Schuyler Av, (MM4.2), Kearny, all lanes closed and detoured - Flooding
US 1&9/Tonnelle Avenue Both Directions, Secaucus Rd, (MM56.2), North Bergen Twp, all lanes closed and detoured - Police department activity

Mercer

NJ 29 Both Directions, CR 546/Washington Crossing Rd, (MM12.0), Hopewell Twp, 1 lane may be closed - Flooding
US 1 Northbound, Market St, (MM0.9), Trenton, ramp closed and detoured - Flooding

Middlesex

NJ 27 Both Directions, CR 527/Easton Ave, (MM16.2), New Brunswick, all lanes closed and detoured - Flooding
NJ 27 Southbound, North of NJ 18, (MM16.8), Highland Park, right lane closed - Flooding

Monmouth

NJ 33 Both Directions, NJ 34, (MM34.7), Howell Twp, 1 lane may be closed - Flooding
NJ 33 Both Directions, West of Garden State Parkway, (MM37.1), Tinton Falls, all lanes closed and detoured - Downed tree
NJ 35 Both Directions, County Rd, (MM45.2), Aberdeen Twp, 1 to 2 lanes closed - Flooding
NJ 35 Northbound, South of West Park Ave, (MM27.4), Ocean Twp, 1 lane may be closed - Flooding
NJ 36 Southbound, Highlands Bridge/Shrewsbury River Bridge, (MM11.6), Sea Bright, all lanes closed and detoured - Police department activity
US 9 Both Directions, Union Hill Rd, (MM120.0), Marlboro Twp, all lanes may be closed and detoured - Flooding

Ocean

NJ 35 Northbound, CR 10/Washington Ave, (MM13.2), Point Pleasant Beach, all lanes closed and detoured - Flooding
NJ 72 Both Directions, CR 539/Whiting Rd, (MM13.7), Barnegat Twp, all lanes closed and detoured - Downed tree

Passaic

I-80 Westbound, East of Exit 55 - NJ 62/Union Blvd, (MM56.0), Totowa, right lane closed - Downed tree
I-80 Westbound, Exit 57 - NJ 19, (MM58.2), Paterson, partial ramp closed - Downed tree

Salem

NJ 49 Both Directions, East of S Burden Hill Rd, (MM15.5), Quinton Twp, all lanes closed and detoured - Downed tree

Union

NJ 28 Eastbound, CR 617/Gordon St, (MM23.6), Roselle Park, 1 to 2 lanes closed - Flooding

accidentalchinesehipsters: First, let me admit that I want this...

Fri, 05 Aug 2011 20:19:05 -0400

accidentalchinesehipsters:

First, let me admit that I want this outfit. I imagine that I would be prepared to do anything in these clothes and I would feel so powerful. The elements would not harm me. Little wings would sprout from my feet. And, as a friend who lived in HK for ten years lamented to me, people in NYC would be appalled. If so, it’s their fault for being behind the fashion curve.

Jeanne in Beijing saw this lady on Di’anmen St. and pointed out that her tube socks match her arm tubes, causing her to be: “very minimally exposed to the sun and maintain ultimate fashion savvy while doing it.” Furthermore, “She even has the ultimate hipster accessory: tunnel-vision focus on her smartphone – I snapped a bunch of photos without her ever even looking up.” Right on.

transmulation

Fri, 15 Jul 2011 16:34:00 -0400

My brother asked me why a quote in this “story” sounded so, well, messed up:

President of Warner Bros. Pictures, Dan Fellman said, “We conclude the faithfulness of Harry Potter fans as well as assimilate that they have been watchful 10 years for this moment. We can’t wait for to uncover them the movie, that you hold delivers upon each level, so you have been putting the movie out upon as most screens as probable in an bid to prove direct from seashore to coast. We wish to safeguard that fans who have been counting down to the culmination will have each possibility to see it, early as well as often, as well as you goal that they will take value of the event to watch all their the one preferred characters in 3D for the initial time, that is an knowledge not-to-be-missed.”

After a little digging, my best guess is that it was double auto-translated - from English and back again - from the original press release, where the quote appears:

In making the announcement, Fellman stated, “We appreciate the loyalty of Harry Potter fans and understand that they have been waiting 10 years for this moment. We can’t wait to show them the movie, which we believe delivers on every level, so we are putting the film out on as many screens as possible in an effort to satisfy demand from coast to coast. We want to ensure that fans who have been counting down to the finale will have every chance to see it, early and often, and we hope that they will take advantage of the opportunity to watch all their favorite characters in 3D for the first time, which is an experience not-to-be-missed.”

I told him not to go to stupid non-news websites anymore.

artprize: “Artist Juliana Santacruz Herrera has taken to the...

Thu, 21 Apr 2011 12:05:32 -0400

artprize:

“Artist Juliana Santacruz Herrera has taken to the streets of Paris to repair unsightly potholes and cracks with braids and braids of colorful yarn.”

(via Project Pothole – HonestlyWTF)

Pending an official vote tomorrow at noon, this will be the new...

Sat, 02 Apr 2011 19:46:38 -0400

Pending an official vote tomorrow at noon, this will be the new legislative map of New Jersey.

hipsterorathlete: Joe Namath knows a secret food truck with the...

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 11:33:21 -0400

hipsterorathlete:

Joe Namath knows a secret food truck with the best arepas.